• Guest Writer

Are You Playing the Blame Game? Here’s Why You Need to Stop

Written by Tomeika S. Leavell, LCSW

Blame and game – two words that should never be joined together. The truth is, the blame game is no fun to play and there are never any winners. And, perhaps, the biggest loser of all is the one who is doing all the blaming. When we blame others, we lose our power. Remaining stuck in our feelings of anger, resentment or abandonment only hurts us, not the other person. They eventually move on while we continue our lives feeling mad at the entire world!

If you’ve been playing the blame game, here are a few reasons why you need to stop:

Blaming Takes Our Attention from Personal Growth

When we’re busy blaming others for our woes and tribulations, we pay little attention to our own behaviors and how they may have contributed to the “wrong” that was done to us. Spending our time thinking of others in such a negative way does not allow for any time to personally reflect and take stock in who we are and how we have moved through our life so far.

When you stop playing the blame game, you give yourself the time and space to grow as a person.

Your Reality Becomes Distorted

Living life as a victim means living in a distorted reality, and that is crippling. When you exist in a perpetual state of blame, your thought patterns become a jumbled mess, you may even develop sleep issues.

The result is your world becomes distorted and your ability to think, reason, and interact with others is negatively impacted. All of this rage has to go somewhere, and, though you don’t mean to, you begin directing it at friends and family members who have done nothing wrong.

If not dealt with, the blame game ultimately leads to isolation when your most important relationships are destroyed.

We Lose Our Freedom

Personal freedom is key to a happy life. We all want to be free to do what we want for a living, love who we want, live where we want and vacation when we want. But what many don’t realize is that playing the blame game takes away personal freedom.

Blame is a master and we are its slave. IT calls the shots, not us. IT tells us we must be miserable and resentful and angry all of the time. IT tells us to be tired and stressed and hopeless.

When we stop playing the blame game, we free ourselves from the chains that bind us and keep us from pursuing the life we want.

The key takeaway here is this: Blame is like sugar: you may think it tastes delicious and love the high you get, but ultimately it ruins your health and makes you very sick. A therapist can help you with any blame issues you may have to move your life forward.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Written by Tomeika S. Leavell, LCSW

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©2017 by Amanda Villaveces, LMFT & the Mental Health Lou Team