• Guest Writer

Are You Doing Self-Care All Wrong?

Updated: Sep 10

Written by Tomeika S. Leavell, LCSW

The topic of self-care is one that has been discussed openly and often over the past decade. But for many, the concept of self-care is one that is still a bit mysterious, if not downright confusing.


What Is Self-Care?

First, self-care is a practice and a commitment we make to ourselves. It is any activity we do deliberately to support our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Not only does the right kind of self-care improve our health and life, but it can also improve the relationships we have with others.

Some examples of self-care might be:

  • Creating better habits

  • Eating right

  • Getting plenty of quality sleep

  • Exercising

  • Meditation

  • Spending quality time with loved ones

  • Making time to enjoy a hobby

  • Learning something new

Self-care isn’t always fun or easy, but you do it anyway because you know that the activity is what is BEST for you. In this way, self-care is a bit like acting as your own parent, making sure you do the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing because it is what your mind, body, and spirit need.


What Self-Care Isn’t

Self-care isn’t necessarily about making yourself feel better.

Person A has had a very bad day. They practice proper self-care and, when they get home, they change clothes, go for a 3-mile run, then cook a healthy dinner that refuels their body.

Person B has also had a very bad day and practices phony self-care. On their way home, person B stops at the store and gets a 6-pack of beer and a gallon of ice cream, then spends the entire night on the sofa drinking and eating poorly in an attempt to make the bad day go away.


This phony style of self-care is very immature. It is not parental but something a child does. If the parent insists you eat your veggies because they are good for you, the child will eat only candy bars when the parent isn’t looking.


Self-care is about making decisions based on what is good for you, not what you FEEL like doing at the moment.


Self-care should also not be confused with pampering. While there is nothing wrong with getting massages and pedicures, these again tend to be quick fixes we give ourselves to make ourselves feel better in the moment.


At the end of the day, self-care is a commitment to yourself to live, grow, and evolve in healthy ways. It means making choices that will lead to your best self and greatest potential.

SOURCES:

  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everybody-marries-the-wrong-person/201006/self-care-in-toxic-world

  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202001/5-things-people-get-wrong-about-self-care

  • https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/

Written by Tomeika S. Leavell, LCSW

The information and resources contained on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The use of this website does not imply nor establish any type of therapist-client relationship. Furthermore, the information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional.

*Mental Health Louisville did not write this content and simply a platform for sharing others mental wellness content. Permission was granted permission by original website host and/or author to share this content on MHL platforms.

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